When life hands you lemons… ROCK ON!

And I will show that whatever happens to anybody it may be turned into beautiful results.

—Walt Whitman

The Two Fridas, painted in 1939
This painting is a self-portrait of Frida Kahlo. Represented is split between her two selves. From her period of turmoil and self-doubt. Frida on the right is her Mexican self in traditional tehuana dress. The Frida on the left is her European self dressed in a colonial white dress.

Whatever lemons life hands you, you have to keep going, you have to rock on and pursue the beauty that can come from it. No one’s life is easy. We all have difficult situations, even celebrities like Surrealist artist Frida Kahlo. Somewhere down the line, someone made the analogy, that obstacles are equivalent to lemons, this person said… When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. No matter what the situation is, beautiful results will occur if you keep going. Sometimes things happen that may seem like the end of the world, but just keep trying. Frida is a great example of someone who managed to turn bitter lemons into beauty.

Everyone has problems. I do, Frida Kahlo did, so do plenty of other people in the world, I bet. Sometimes it feels like whatever problem we are going through, it is the worst problem in the world. Just a few weeks ago I was in an unpleasant situation. It wasn’t life or death. I’m still here. I didn’t lose my home, I wasn’t physically hurt, neither was anyone else. I’m still pretty much me, just with another experience. In my mind, it was rough patch to go through. I wanted to drop everything and create a new life. I wanted to move to Hawaii. I wanted to abandon everything I had going on here and start fresh in a tropical world. I felt like I was the only one who had such a situation. If I moved to beautiful Hawaii everything would be fixed. Let me remind you I have never been there. I’ve only experienced it second – hand through stories and photos. This is a place where no one has problems ever…  I could start fresh and adapt to their completely problem free environment where I am guaranteed to never encounter a problem again, right? Right.

Leaving everything to move to Hawaii was the most logical way to solve the issue. Now I am laughing at how silly this idea was. Moving to Hawaii would be wonderful, but it wouldn’t have been the solution. Problems probably occur there too. Shortly after my situation was done and solved, a friend  of mine, who knew nothing about my issue and wanting to move, told me something very similar! She said she was upset and just wanted to move to Tennessee and start over. So, I know im not alone with this thought process. My point is that sometimes we — maybe not all of you, but some of us… have situations where we feel like life would be better if we just ran away from everything, and moved far, far away to start over. Lets not forget about Frida, I wonder if she ever felt like running away.

What happens when we don’t run away? We rock on and conquer our problem! How wonderful is that? When we win!? We get to keep our life and continue with the process that we’ve been working on so hard to put together.  It’s so easy to forget about the big picture during these inconvenient situations. Frida Kahlo was a Surrealist painter. To me — it appears that she lived a rough life but managed to pull out the goodness that she could. She made lemonade.  Ms. Kahlo was born on July 6th 1907. I will tell you, her life was one hardship after another. First — when she was 6, she acquired Polio. This left her with a leg significantly thinner than the other. But she didn’t feel sorry for herself and run away, she made the most of it. It didn’t kill her. She said… hey, i’m still mobile, I can fix this, let me just wear long skirts to disguise my leg and I’ll be on my way…

Continuing on, Frida excelled in her education and attempted to pursue a medical degree. She studied hard and was accepted into one of Mexico’s top notch schools, the Escuela Nacional Preparatoria. But what happened?? Shes not famous for her medical discoveries, shes world renowned for her paintings.

Frida Kahlo was a Mexican painter. She lived a life with many hardships. When she was 15 she was in a bus accident and A sharp pole went through her vagina. These are the words of my Spanish professor. She introduced Frida’s story to our class in 2006. I can hear the biography through her voice so clearly.

On September 17, 1925, Kahlo was riding in a bus that collided with a trolley car. She suffered serious injuries because of the accident, including a broken spinal column, a broken collarbone, broken ribs, a broken pelvis, eleven fractures in her right leg, a crushed and dislocated right foot, and a dislocated shoulder. Also, an iron handrail pierced her abdomen and her uterus, compromising her reproductive capacity.

From that day on, she spent the rest of her life painting while she was trying to recover. She kept going. Frida was even a social butterfly. She was married to a painter she admired, Diego Rivera, and she didn’t stop there, Frida pushed the envelope and had several affairs. Her work is so unique. Her paintings were real — but not real, they were surreal. They had elements that seemed real but exaggerated. Illogical images were incorporated into the scene. Frida turned this tragedy into a beautiful result. She represented her thoughts through her paintings. Frida Kahlo said I never painted dreams. I painted my own reality. If you look at her work you will see how truthful it all is. There is no censorship to her thoughts. She’s blunt. Some stuff may offend the faint at heart, but it was her life.

When life hands you lemons, its important to make the most with them. Frida turned a series of unpleasant events into beauty. She painted over and over again and brought us into her world. Life is hard sometimes and its easy to feel like you’re the only one who has it rough. But sometimes when I am brought back to reality and reminded that no ones life is easy, it makes me feel better. Not because I am reminded that other people are having a rough time, but to know that I’m not the only one that is, to know that the world isn’t ganging up on me. When times get tough, its important to remember that things will get better if you rock on.

The Beauty of Success

Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.

R. Collier

This painting was painted by Georges Seurat. The style is considered pointillism. Every portion of color on the caves was applied by a dot. Together the dots create shadows, values and contrasts to develop a scene. What does this picture make you feel?

Life is a collection of thousands of small efforts. Some moments are the outcome to our choices and others—well, they just happen. French Post Impressionist painter, Georges Seurat completed his painting A Sunday Afternoon on La Grande Jatte in 1886. This painting kind of makes me think of a blank canvas representing an individual’s life. We each have the priveledge to design our own life. Every decision that we make, each moment we encounter is a dot on our canvas.

What is pointilism? Gardner’s Art Through The Ages, Volume II by Fred S. Kleiner describes pointilism as a system of painting devised by the 19th-century French Painter Georges Seurat. The artist separates color into its component parts and then applies the component colors to the canvas in tiny dots (points). The image becomes comprehesible only from a distance, when the viewers eye optically blends the pigment dots.

Life is full of sooooo many moments. Its unbelievable. To me, so many of my experiences seem like lifetimes-agos. There have been so many times that I’ve tried and failed. So many books that I’ve read or movies I’ve seem that seem pointless, or a waste of time. And there have been times that Ive worked really hard and a achieved a successful outcome. Where do these things lead? Sometimes it feels like they are leading nowhere. These moments may seem so small but we have to remember, The small things add up. Reaching for success feels like a far away land for many of us, like me. This makes some people not want to try it at all. The work you put in may not seem like as much, but remember the big picture. The small things contribute to the whole of your work.

Right now, at this moment, it is tough to see your full masterpiece. We have an idea of our future, but do we know exactly what will happen? Nope, it’s a little bit of a blur. We have a past, but we can’t take a time machine back to re-live our younger days, so our memories are sort of unclear too. Each moment in our life seems like its our whole world at the time. After it passes we realize how small that moment really was.

Have you seen this painting that George made? If you are not familiar with A Sunday Afternoon on La Grande Jatte, please take a moment to look it over. Here it is Click Here. This painting is incredible. Who could have possibly created an entire world on a 6’9″ x 10′ canvas, made entirely of dots!? From 1884-1886, in only 2 years!? Mr. Seurat, thats who.

Look at the dots on this canvas. There are so many! Look at all of the variations of yellows, reds and blues. Seurat had to decide which color to put where. What if each choice we made was a dot represented on our canvas! What if each significant collection of dots, like the people on La Grande Jatte, represented a phase in our life? This canvas is someone’s life. Whose life is it? This person’s life as a whole was beautiful they experienced hardships and joy enough of a balance to leave a silent masterpiece.

Do you see the little girl in the center. She is so innocent, she is protected by the collection of warm and loving colors of her mother. Dressed in pure white, she is the center of the cavas, as we are the center of our own world. She hasn’t been tainted by the dark atrocities of society yet. You can see a little blue on her, on the under shading of her hat. These dots are from her tears, they aren’t very vibrant or extreme because she is young and protected. Maybe those moments are times when she was a little hungry, or she bumped her head on the corner of the table. Nothing too crazy. The mother next to her is full of warmth. She is dressed in warm, lovey, oranges and pinks. Here they are stroling in sunlight. The bond between the mother and daughter… There is a little dark shadow casting off the right side of them because sometimes-lets face it, mother’s and daughters fight.

Seurat’s painting has energetic splashes of red values. Each and every warm dot is a smile, a dance party, a laugh, our favorite past time and every other enjoyable occasion. The mass of them—the actual collected form are all of our happy moments put together. The warm people are scattered through out the painting because we love those moments and we like to keep them in our thoughts, no matter where we are. Except for that man to the left of the little innocent girl. He has an umbrella over his head. His cluster of colors are orange and blue. That man is the guy representing the night that I drank too much coffee liquer. I have mixed emotions about that night. I didn’t realize the strength of the drink. I will spare the details, you can imagine how it evolved. I absolutely loved that night, I love to laugh about it with the friends that were there with me. Thinking of those moments give me a warm happy feeling. Except at the time it was kinda and messy. So the orange and blue guy is both warm and cool, hes happy and a wreck. He has mixed emotions.

As we get older we experience life. For some reason the dark moments just pile up into a corner. Do you know what I’m talking about? Like the time Grandmama died. She was energetic strong, confident, funny, classy, she wore the same hair style everyday since I can remember and had a closet full of Keds and Coach purses.. and… she was a little wrinkly. When she died I didn’t know what to think. I was 23. I had no control over that moment, it just happened. She was so old—but so lively, who would have thought she would actually die. These memories are represented through the concoction that create the black shirt of the woman to the right. The ladies blue dress is foreshadowing Grandmama’s death, it represents the times that occurred thoughout those blue and dreary months beforehand, when I instinctively felt something was wrong with Grandmama’s health, but she refused to admit it. I like to set those thoughts aside.

R. Collier said “Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.” The juxtaposition of the dark and dreary colors on the painting emphasize the beauty of the light colors. These dark moments allow us to apprecaite the wonderful moments of life so much more. In spring of 2010, I took a class on oil painting. On the contrary to this weeks topic, we did not practice pointillism over the semester. However my professor was full of great philosphies. He described the process of painting to me as a process that gets worse before it gets better. He said that when you start a painting it looks great, you’re roughly sketching and working out the planes and shapes of where everything belongs. As you go further into the work, it starts to look kind of funny. Maybe there is a line in the wrong place and we have to go back into it and adjust it, or maybe we can’t quite get the color right and we have to keep trying. This form of trial and error, along with pointilism—this is life. Sometimes things are going great. We are on top of the world and nothing could be better, we are full of flying colors. Other times, they aren’t so hot, the colors turn sour. When our canvas starts to look funny we just have to get back in there and work out the dots in until we can successfully bring out the beauty again.

Seurat painted a quiet scene full of people on a Sunday afternoon. What design will be on your canvas when you are done?

Quality Over Quantity

Hello everyone, I am sending my apologies this week. I was a bit crammed with additional work and my blog post is not quite up to par as I’d like it to be just yet. I am one for quality over quantity Rather than throwing the topic that I have in my mind together really quick, I am going to make the difficult choice of not posting a blog for you on my scheduled Sunday nights. I will continue to work on my writings so that it is something of more substance when I do post the next one, in a week or so.

Thank you for visiting! You’re the best!

Look for Chua!

Ladies and Gentleman, If I may-I would like to take this weeks post as an opportunity to share with you about my new friend Chua. Look for Chua. He is a New York City taxi cab driver. I would like to tell you about this past weekend, Saturday, September 22nd-to be specific, when I met him.

It certainly is incredible to think that my own personal world is the world-my world. Yet so many other people on this earth have their own world and possibly feel the same way. We all bring our visions together to create this massive interactive society of worlds. On planet Earth there is over 7 billion people in existence. In New York City there over 8 million people. What does it take to be noticed here? to feel like you’re world actually means something amongst everyone else world? Not to get too personal but, when I’m in the shower, no one else is there to bother me, and I am the center of my world. When I get out, I grab my big fluffy towel to dry off, and I’m safe, and dry in my own world. We aren’t always protected by a warm comfy towel. Sometimes I may feel like I’m on top of the world, on my journey through life, other times I feel like i’m just one tiny little grain amongst all thee other people in existence.

On Saturday I spent the day galavanting the city. By the end of the night I had made my way down to St. Marks Place. The path from St. Marks Place to Penn Station is not really reasonable walking distance. After walking all day I was tired and ready to take a taxi cab back to Penn. During the ride I enjoyed a pleasant conversation with the driver. He had a heavy accent, I could tell that he wasn’t from the U.S. I asked him about himself and what he was doing here. He told me his name is Chua, and he came here from Hong Kong to start a better life for his family. Chua wanted to give his children the opportunity to go to college and create great lives for themselves. Chua works his tush off so that his children can go to college. This man spends every day driving strangers around all over the city. Some strangers are kind to him, some are not so kind. Some give him a great tip and some don’t give him any. So much of his time- his life, is sacrificed for his children, to help them make their dreams come true.

Now, here is the exciting part!! During the ride, I knew where I was, I just didn’t want to walk. After a portion of the way, I knew that if I got out now and jogged at a moderate speed I’d make it to Penn Station in a timely manner (I wanted to get out sooner then later because I didn’t have much cash in my pocket and I wanted to save some as much as I could, just incase I encountered an emergency). The sky was dark out and the weather was drizzly, but I knew I would’nt melt. I told Chua he had taken me far enough. He knew my ultimate destination was Penn Station and asked multiple times if I was sure that I wanted to get out. I told him I am positive, this stop is great, I paid Chua, told him it was a pleasure chatting with him and thanked him for the ride. Shortly after I got out of the cab it began to pour! Now my un-meltable feeling was backfiring. All I could think about was making it to my train on time and wrapping myself in a big fluffy bath towel when I got home. Beeeeep!! My dreams were interrupted by a loud car horn. Once, twice, then over and over again. The sound was getting closer each time. I looked over my right shoulder and saw the noise was coming from my new friend Chua!! He noticed the rain and knew I had a distance to walk so he came to rescue me! He honked and told me to get in. While waving my arms, I said no, no, no and he kept insisting that I hop in. It was raining and the ride was tempting, so finally I got in. We chatted some more the rest of the ride to Penn. When we arrived I offered to pay him the rest of the fee but good old Chua refused to take any money! So-not only did this stranger, a cab driver, rescue me from the rain but he gave me a ride for free!! He wouldn’t even accept a tip. This random person rescued me from the rain. He wasn’t a creep nor was he a perv. I could tell he did this because he was genuinely doing a good deed out of the kindness of his heart. He took care of me as he would take of his own child.

After I got on the train I sat down, relaxed an processed the recent activity. I didn’t need the comfort of a five star hotel bath towel any more. There we were, two harmless strangers amongst the milions of people in this world. I had never met him before and will probably never see him again. I don’t know what the world is like through his eyes. But Chua took care of me. The situation I had just been a part of engulfed me in a warmth of emotion. Sitting there in wet clothes meant nothing to me. I was so happy to have experienced such a kind act. This moment sent me back to the top of my world.

Please keep Chua in your hearts for being so kind. If you ever happen to run into him, please wish him well!!

Kill The Cop Inside Your Mind!!

Kill The Cop Inside Your Mind!!!

I found graffiti in a bathroom on one of my adventures in New York City during August of 2012. It was late and I needed a bathroom, non of the cleaner places would let me in unless I made a purchase so I kept searching. Finally I found a dive bar whole in the wall. I went into the bathroom and found this statement written on the door. I was so grateful for being turned away from all the other restrooms after I found this quote. If anyone knows who wrote this please let me know!!

What is it in your mind that is stopping you from being you?

What’s in your head that is preventing you from taking that awesome fiery bull of an idea, grabbing it by the horns and steering into battle??

I am very grateful for cops in real life. Cops are authoritative figures that are paid to keep us safe. What about the cops in our minds? These guys snuff our fiery flames. It’s kind of hard to pursue adventures when you have to worry about being arrested. I am going to give you guys the benefit of the doubt and know that non of you are extreme law breakers, but-what about the rules in your minds? What is stopping you? Why are you hesitant? Why are you so shy? Why haven’t you pushed your way into that dream job you’ve been wanting? Why haven’t you displayed that painting or sung that song that you are so proud of in front of crowds yet? It’s the cop in your mind! Other people brought new things to the table, why can’t you? You need to identify this cop-the one that is in your mind, and smush it!!

You need to Kill the Cop Inside Your Mind!

Life is not an easy adventure. As an adult, I am starting to notice how much we are really told No in the course of a day. Not to mention the harsh adolescent stage when we wear what we like to school and if its not a fashion that was printed in this months magazine, we are immediately picked apart. No never ends, adults are nit picked too. So many rules, guidelines, and consequences are constantly being pressed on us. After a while we begin to develop our own imaginary law enforcer and start to tell ourselves No. We second guess our outfits, our art work, jokes, taste and anything that makes us different-anything that makes us, us. The thing that I am wondering though, is that, if the world is so un accepting to new ideas how can there be any kind of growth? If it weren’t for the Wright Brothers to be so brave we would have no aeroplanes! How many people would believe during that time, the early 1900′s, that these guys could get a really heavy manmade object to soar through the air?? They probably had some encouragement, but I bet there were plenty of people that thought they were nuts. These guys told the cop in their mind who is boss. Now thanks to them, we can travel quickly all over the world! Bravery is a necessity in order grow.

Side Note: Wilbur and Orville Wright got their first plane up and flying on December 17th, 1903.They started thinking about the idea to build a flying contraption in 1896. It took the Wright brothers 7 years of perseverance to develop the plane. 

Sometimes hearing No can be a kill joy. It can cause us to take extra precautions to not take that daring direction we have in our thoughts. This is life though. I will tell you it’s not easy. Anne Lamott is familiar with criticism and she even writes about it in her book, Bird by Bird. In the beginning of her book, Anne writes about the glories of being a writer. Lamott writes “There are many obvious advantages to this (being a writer). You don’t have to dress up, for instance, and you can’t hear them boo you right away.” You see, even a complete stranger is talking about un-welcomed ideas. You will not be the first person to be boo’d off the stage.  Sometimes this negativity will get the best of us and we’ll get stuck, incarcerated in the undertoe’s of No‘s. Personally, I tend to tell myself yes by instinct, then I think about it and tell myself NO, and the deciding process will turn into an up and down back and forth arrhythmic beat and I get stuck bouncing all over the place. But you’re not stuck. You only think you’re trapped. This is that cop-the one that is in your mind, telling you that you’re stuck. It’s not always easy to tackle the law enforcer alone. Sometimes you need a posse, this is what friends are for, but please only the really valuable, cherishable ones. You’re friends will give you a kick in the ass and nudge you back to the right direction. Please don’t let an eh, friend kick you in the ass, they might not know which direction to kick.

I know it is so much easier said than done, to get this cop under control, but please try. Remember, you have to…

 

…wait for it….

 

 

…wait for it…

(please, please, please don’t actually do any physical killing!!………………..please!!)

Fogged Up

Be cool with criticism. If you focus on pleasing our critics, you’ll end up wasting your time and energy, instead of doing something productive.

—Albert Einstien

When someone indicates an objection to you or your actions, what do you do? Lets say you have a favorite style or hobby and they choose to be the one to react negatively to your world. Do you take this to heart and let it ruin you? It only takes a tablespoon of water to fill a city block with fog. Negativity is like fog. It only takes a tiny amount to fill fog up thoughts, for me at least. Do your thoughts get flooded with the fog of negativity?

Or – do you take it as constructive criticism and use it make you a better person?

If you’re anything like me, you will take this unpleasant information and let it invade your heart. Some people will run with negative feedback and use it as fuel. I am not one of those people. I let it destroy me. When I hear a negative comment I naturally tend to harbor the words, dwell on what I heard and let it flood my idea’s. I relate negativity to a lesson I learned years ago in my Drawing 1 class. On this night my professor intended to teach us how to add values of shadow and light to our pencil drawing. He taught us a technique of using water with ink and applying the substrate with a brush. I proceeded to fill my cup with clean tap water and drop the first, smallest drop of black ink into the container using the ink dropper. As the ink spread throughout the water, I was amazed with how quickly that tiny little black drop took over the pure clear molecules. The water turned black within seconds. This process instantly made me think of negativity. Watching the ink spread through the water was like watching a stormy cloud grow over a harmless innocent city filled with cottages, green grass, flowers, and children laughing while jumping rope. All of this from that tiny little black drop of ink. Personally, all that I need, is to hear one small tiny gloomy comment about someones opposition towards me (the small droplet of black ink) to completely fog my brain and prevent me from thinking clearly for the next lifetime.

Thankfully I have the ability to take the criticism that I feel will help me grow to be a better person, and I can trash the feedback that will pollute my brain. I will take feedback whether it is for me or against me with an open mind topped with a dash of salt.

Michelangelo?

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

—Steve Jobs

Wow, the Statue of David. What a hunk. He is my kind of man. He’s tall, strong and Italian. He has a luscious full head of hair and his skin tone is a gorgeous assembly of the most beautiful shades of gray. David is young, robust and full of energy. He is standing confident and ready to fight Goliath. Those bulging biceps are incredible, do you think he has a license for those guns? After all he is a protector. And oh! how Ilove those quiet and mysterious types! I’d give anything to know what he’s thinking. Unfortunately, I can’t have him. He belongs to the Gallaria dell’Accadamia in Florence. David was made by Michelangelo, a human just like me. He was an amazing artist. If Michelangelo was human, and i’m human, maybe I can carve a David for myself, like he did?

If I attempted to carve myself a David, which I would most certainly love to try one of these days, I have a feeling my man may not come out quite as dreamy as the statue that was carved by Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni during the years of 1501 through 1504. Michelangelo was a living natural human just like me. Shouldn’t I be able to carve a guy just as perfect as he did?

Everyone has their own natural talents. Some people can sing, some can dance, some can catch a ball, and some are human calculators. For me, I love to cook, I love to knit, I love to do all types of work with my hands from typing to designing and possibly carving. I’m not sure about carving, I’ve never tried it. I can’t make a decision if I like to carve or not before I’ve tried it. I don’t really like getting dirty though. Michelangelo was a master of sculpting, painting, architecture, and even poetry. Mostly, he was a sculptor and a painter. Michelangelo’s talents were recognized at an early age. Once his gifts and skills were noticed, he was submerged into a life of studying and creating art. This young artist spent the rest of his life learning, sculpting and painting. He didn’t have to balance a life of school, studying and working a part time on theweekends while he was perfecting his abilities. He didn’t even have to worry about money! He was taken care of by the wealthy diplomatic de’ Medici family.

Michelangelo is not the only one with a gift. My talents were noticed at an early age too. My parents were not neglectful. They saw I was creative and bought me Play dough. My Aunt Virginia taught me to knit and Aunt Fran bought me crayons. They were as supportive as can be. The only problem was that I had to go to school. I also had homework and I spent time with my friends too. I think that if my family sent me off to Brugge to study the art of weaving Doilies at age 13, just like Michelangelo was sent to study art an early age, I could probably blow all of those weavers out of the water.

Why can’t I be Michelangelo and carve myself a perfect man? I can’t be him because this is 2012 and it just isn’t logical to spend every moment of my life creating masterpieces. In addition to my passions I had tospend my developmental ages in Elementary school, Middle School and High School. Sure there are people who are fortunate to have all the time in the world to perfect their talents. Actors and Actresses are paid fortunes to spend hours upon hours practicing for their next blockbuster hit. Athletes are paid to practice constantly too. I will give them credit, the amount of time and effort they put in certainly radiates through their work. I am not one of those people who has the ability to spend every moment of my life investing into my talents. I have a part time job to go to on the weekends. I wish I didn’t have to go and I could spend every moment of my life studying and designing but I have to. I am passionate about designing and I love to read, write and learn new information. My collection of unread books is piling up. It’s tough to catch up! I have to make it work. I do the activities I love every free moment I can. I haven’t even read the most popular fiction novel that is out now because I chose to read my design books over that one. Imagine explaining to your friends that you would prefer to read about about fonts over a book about the most handsome man alive who steals the innocence of a young girl. It was awkward but they are supportive. Sometimes life gets in the way and my passions must be stopped with a halt. The best I can do, is do everything with a designers mentality. When I drive to work I analyze the perspective of the road meeting the horizon, when the sun sets I analyze the colors, when I’m on the treadmill I make note of the design displayed on the screen that tells me how many calories I’m burning. I just have to make situations work any way I can. I know I will graduate soon, and I know I will be a good designer. I am thankful that my parents didn’t throw me into a doily weaving school at an early age. Letting me live a life with variety opened me up to so much more! I have so many opportunities this way. With this life that i’m living, I have the chance to find myself a perfect man. A man who fits into my life perfectly, one who is not stone cold, and one who can tell me what he is thinking.